There were two big things Scott wanted for Melodie when he came home... a fish tank and her first experience at fourth fest / the 4th of july parade..
Now that Scott is gone, I feel like these two things need to be done. Its things like this that help me grieve. I feel like I'm doing something for HIM.
Today I accomplished the fish tank. I got rid of the 30 gallon fish tank that did nothing except collect junk from everything from coats, shoes, and random receipts. I ended up getting a 10 gallon fish tank with a nice stand and set it up in Scott's honor. A ten gallon tank is easier to maintain. I needed that considering I have to do everything else by myself, need to make the maintenance easy on myself. Now in a few days Melodie and I will go and pick out some fish.
When July 4th comes closer I will be getting with my cousin to have a 4th Fest in Scotts honor so Melodie has a chance to enjoy 4th fest like Scott would have wanted.
I've been going to the cemetery more than usual. Sometimes I go just to play him a song. I cant believe its almost been 3 months since the day that changed my life forever. I haven't been face to face with him in almost 9 months. Unfortunately that's what makes grieving easier. I do wish I had that one last chance to see his face. Give him a big kiss, a hug, call me hun bun, watch him dance to benny and the jets, and most importantly just to see that smile and those bright blue eyes.
On a brighter note, one of my best friends Alyssa.. her husband is coming home todayish. I'm so excited for her. She needs a break. I also am SUPER SUPER excited because there coming to visit me! I guess when your husband isn't coming home anymore the next best thing is to be excited for someone else. Of course I'm jealous because I haven't had that opportunity and never will, but I'm happy for them at the same time.
Well my house is still a mess and I'm the only one who can clean it. My daughter still needs a bath and all that other good stuff.
Until next time,